The Science Project
by Pinkchick
Summary: What happens when the Xmen ruin Logan's motorcycle? Will they be able to hide it before he finds out or get caught? A oneshot humor piece. Please R&R, it's greatly appreciated!


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Disclaimer: If any of you own anything from this lovely show and universe than I really want half of it. Fork it over!

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Author's Note: If you ask me how I came up with this story I honestly can't tell you… it was off the top of my head. I realized that for my past three stories or so, well, they've kinda been depressing to say the least. And so I needed to have a little bit of comedy even if I'm not the queen of that genre, but I have to drabble in it every once in awhile. So this was the outcome, a one-shot! A big thanks to **sweet-destiny3 **for being the first one to read this - and if she thought it was funny, then I hope it'll lighten your day. And about reviews… you know I haven't had a decent meal in days and reviews are what I crave for so please, show some mercy! And now: **_Read, Review and ENJOY!_**

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The Science Project

By: pinkchick

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"Is that what it's supposed to look like?" Jean Grey asked no one in particular as she gaped helplessly at the mangled object on the garage floor.

"Not even close," Scott Summers replied as he walked around the object a few times to better cross-examine it. He sighed. They were going to be in so much trouble when Logan found out.

"I don't sink I agree vith any of you," Kurt Wagner concluded, his German accent seeping into his English. He stood there with his arms crossed and his tail twirling. "I don't see anysing wrong vith it at all."

Rogue, Kurt's half sister, rolled her eyes and threatened him with the power tool she was swinging in her hands. Kurt let out a yelp and ran for cover behind Scott's tall frame. "What are ya blahnd, blue boy? Ya think that Logan'll just walk in here and not notice that somethin's wrong?" she questioned rhetorically. "He may be tough, but he ain't stupid. Fahve bucks says we're dead where we stand."

"Vat do you mean, 've'?" Kurt practically laughed. "_Ve _didn't do anysing. It vas all Keety's fault."

Kitty Pryde's eyes narrowed at her blue furred friend. "Don't, like, blame this all on me! I just wanted some, like, driving lessons… but _I _wasn't the one who bet Rogue that I could go for a joyride and bring it back in one piece." She turned her blue-eyed glare on Kurt.

"Tha's raght," Rogue said, extending her hand, palm face up toward Kurt, "pay up."

Kurt scowled at Kitty's statement and ignored Rogue. "Vat are you saying exactly?"

Kitty huffed at him and let out a sound of frustration. "Urgh! I'm saying that if it weren't for you and Rogue's stupid bet then, like, Logan's motorcycle wouldn't have been in the middle of the driveway!"

"Oh, so now eet's my fault!" Kurt practically screeched. "I never back down on a bet, I'll have you know, and the motorcycle vasn't in the middle of the driveway!"

"Yes, it was!" Kitty fired back.

"No, it vasn't!"

"Yes, it was!"

"No, it vasn't!"

"Oh, so the blue smoke just, like, popped out of nowhere?" Kitty crossed her arms and pointedly glared at Kurt.

"Why deedn't you phase, or somesing?" Kurt yelled.

"I didn't like, have time," Kitty argued, "you bamfed out of nowhere!"

"GUYS, STOP FIGHTING!" Scott bellowed. A very aggravated looking Scott silenced Kurt's next retort. "This blame game is getting us nowhere. Logan'll be home any minute now and we haven't gotten to the question of what we're gonna do. Any ideas?"

"No," Kitty and Kurt said together as they turned away from each other.

They both surveyed the damaged vehicles in front of them. Scott's own red and white striped convertible was severely scratched and butchered from the front. The lights had been completely broken, and there was a bump here and there, but other than that it was pretty fixable. The five of them then turned their heads to Logan's precious and beloved motorcycle. The one they all knew he would kill for, and now they were the first on that list.

Logan's motorcycle was severely crushed and punctured all over the place. The handles were both bent at an odd angle and the metal was scratched everywhere. It didn't look much like a motorcycle anymore as to something that was crunched up in a metal dispenser. Their fellow X-man and teacher wasn't going to be too happy when he saw this. In fact, rage was the more proper word.

"You can feex zis, can't you, Scott?" Kurt asked. "After all, you vere the one who let Keety drive vith you."

"Kurt," Scott pointed, narrowing his hidden eyes at his friend. His ruby quartz glasses flashed, "don't even start with that whole thing again. Besides, Kitty was doing pretty well before this piece of metal appeared." Kurt opened his mouth to say something, but Scott wasn't finished. "We're all at fault here, so blaming people isn't going to work." Scott, however, still had his eyes on Kurt and Rogue. Kurt seemed to shrink back behind his sister as though being burned by Scott's stare.

"Not everyone," Rogue corrected. She pointed at Jean who was still looking at Logan's motorcycle with wide eyes. "Miss Goody goody was inside when all this happened. She's the lucky one, actually."

"No, not exactly. I'll have some of the blame, I'm sure, when I help cover up for you," Jean said. Rogue's eyes widened, but then just as quickly she smiled. Their spirits were uplifted for that one moment and immediately brought back down when they heard a car engine come to a halt outside the main entrance. Their eyes widened completely and they all scrambled around the busted motorcycle, trying to get the cover sheet so they could cover up their mess because now it was all or nothing: Logan was home.

"Quick!" Kitty whisper-shouted as they threw the cover sheet over the now ugly looking motorcycle. There was a loud clutter as the garage door opened and Logan drove the black car they used to take Professor Xavier in into the large garage. The car stopped and Logan surfaced. The five X-men huddled around the covered motorcycle and started talking animatedly to one another as though nothing was wrong.

Logan walked around the front of the black car and stepped in front of the five teenagers. He sniffed the air, eyed them each suspiciously and then looked at the covered motorcycle. Logan then narrowed his eyes and his mouth twitched.

"What are ya'll doin' in the garage and what the hell are ya trying to hide?" Logan asked, the gruffness in his voice seeping through. They all knew how much Logan loved his motorcycle. The five teens gulped and stared back at him, shrugging their shoulders.

"It's a science project, Logan," Jean answered quickly. "You know, for school and all."

Logan nodded his head slowly, but his eyes were still narrowed at them. He walked around the covered object very slowly, seemingly not convinced. The five of them all smiled up at him, but shifted uncomfortably in their positions.

"Really?" Logan looked down at them again. "And since when have the five of you been in the same science class?"

Jean bit her lip. They had all soundlessly agreed that she be their unofficial spokesperson. "Well, it's me and Scott's project, but the others just wanted to help. Y'know, teamwork, as usual. Isn't that right guys?"

A chorus of "Yeah, of course" echoed through the garage. Logan raised an eyebrow at them and suppressed a smirk. He knew on instinct that something was going on and that they just didn't want to tell him.

"So, a science project, huh?" Logan quirked his eyebrow again. "Well, then, get up and let me see it then." They all panicked.

"Well, heh, we, like, can't do that," Kitty piped up.

"And why the hell not?"

"Uh, because, well…."

"Well, it's sorta a surprise," Jean lied, "and we're working really hard on it. But, when we're all done we'll be able to show it to everyone."

"A surprise, huh?" Logan seemed to think about it for a moment and then looked at all five of them, huddled on the floor. "Well, if it's a school project then, by all means continue. I don't want to be the reason you fail."

Logan gave a knowing smirk and started heading to the garage door. The five teens started to get up when Logan stopped and turned around, surveying Scott's bruised car.

Logan whistled as he looked at the damage that his motorcycle had caused. "Cyke, what the hell happened to yer car?" 

"Uh, my car?" Scott stammered. "Well, uh, it was a minor accident. Giving Kitty lessons, y'know, and, uh…"

"A squirrel just ran into the drive and we hit the garage wall," Kitty finished. They both eyed each other and Scott nodded his thanks. Logan eyed them suspiciously again.

"And here I'm thinkin' that we didn't have any squirrels in our area." Logan shook his head.

"Oh, you know," Kurt said, "zere are squirrels everyvhere now." Rogue elbowed him hard in the ribs. Logan would never believe anything as ludicrous as that.

"Are there, now?" Logan questioned.

"Squirrel season," Rogue lied, biting her lip and hoping that it would end Logan's interrogation. Logan looked at her and twisted his mouth. "Or, er, so Ah've heard," she added.

"I see," Logan said, looking as though he was far from convinced. The five teens smiled up at him innocently enough. "Well, I'll just let ya get back to yer work then. I'll even see if I can find that damned squirrel fer ya."

They all gaped at him. "Vhy?" Kurt asked.

"We wouldn't want some dangerous squirrel runnin' around tryin' ta destroy our cars by runnin' out into the drive, now would we?" Logan idly winked at them and turned around to head back into the mansion. "Especially now that it's squirrel season and all."

The five of them started to get up again, but Logan had stopped at the door once again. He cocked his head to the side and looked back at them, smirking.

"Oh, and don't forget about your Danger Room session later tonight," Logan added as they all groaned from the floor. Logan smiled and he disappeared.

They all breathed a sigh of relief as Logan left and immediately closed the garage door as soon as they were sure that Logan was really gone this time.

Kurt wiped his eyebrow and got to his feet with everyone else. "Whew! Zat vas close."

Jean looked at him. "Easy for you to say." Kurt gave her a lopsided grin. "Ok, Scott, you're gonna try and get the parts while we all keep a very keen eye on Logan for the next few days, ok." They all nodded at her.

"Whatever happens, make sure he doesn't come anywhere near the garage, alright?" Scott pulled off the cover sheet and surveyed the damage to Logan's motorcycle. He made a face. "This is gonna take awhile."

"Whaddaya mean 'awhahle'?" Rogue asked bluntly. "Logan can only be tricked fer so long before he figures it out. We may have pulled it off once, but Ah don't think we're gonna be lucky tha next time around."

"Rogue's, like, right," Kitty put in.

Scott sighed. "Just be patient, ok. I'll have this fixed in no time."

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It was awhile before they had to give up stalking Logan. His motorcycle hadn't been fixed yet and they were all starting to get worried. Scott had been working on it for two days and it still wasn't ready; it had apparently succumbed to more damage than they had originally thought. The worst thing about the entire situation was watching Logan's every move. They had set up their system and they suspected that Logan was suspicious, but if he thought that they were up to something, he had a very good way of not showing it. It was the morning of the fourth day that their weariness was starting to catch up to them all. Kurt teleported into the kitchen for breakfast, joining Kitty, Rogue, and Jean. Scott had made the garage his haven for the time being, at least until the damage could be fixed.

Rogue was wearily flipping through the pages of her textbooks, Kitty had her glasses on and was busily typing on her laptop, most likely to her parents; it was a habit she had taken up ever since moving to Bayville. Jean had her head resting on her outstretched arm and was playing with the tips of her flaming hair, her eyes half closed.

"Zis stalking beezniss is really harder zan eet looks." Kurt plopped down in a chair next to Kitty and rubbed his blue face. "I didn't know Logan moved around so much. You'd sink the man vould have a certain hobby or somesing." He pulled a box of cereal toward him and poured some into the nearest bowl. Everyone eyed him and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, he never seems to stay in, like, one area," Kitty agreed, slightly aggravated about that certain flaw in their stalking process. Kurt started munching happily on his cereal and it was contently quiet for a few minutes before Kitty abruptly stopped her typing and looked at Kurt with a horrified expression on her face, her eyes wide. "Aren't you supposed to be like, watching him right now!"

"Vatching him?" Kurt repeated, confusion etching his features. Then a look of dawning crossed his features, his eyes widened for a moment and he went back to eating his cereal.

"Well?" Jean asked, an edge in her voice. She and Rogue had immediately looked up at Kurt, waiting impatiently to hear what he had to say about abandoning his post.

Kurt stopped mid crunch, seeming to not have a clue about what they were on about. "Vell vat?"

"Well whai aren't ya there raght now, you idiot?" Rogue dropped her book and looked as though she would be very content to strangle her brother to death. "We don't know where he is now, thanks ta you. He could be walkin' to the garage raght now."

Kurt waved her off as if what she had just said was absolutely appalling to even say aloud. "Oh, c'mon! Vat do I look like, an idiot?"

"It's what Ah just called you, innit," Rogue stated, sarcasm dripping in her voice.

Kurt glared at her, but then just as quickly resumed eating his breakfast as though there hadn't been any interruption at all. Jean shook her head in disbelief while Kitty rolled her eyes at her friend. Kurt quickly realized that they were all still staring at him intently. He looked up.

"Look, just trust me, ok," Kurt said.

"Trust you?" Rogue looked astonished at the mere concept of it. She laughed. "Trust you, my butt."

Kurt looked at her and then Kitty giggled. "Like, why would he trust your butt, Rogue?" At this, both Kurt and Kitty broke out into laughter. Rogue rolled her eyes, but smirked and Jean laughed lightly.

"It's a figure o' speech," Rogue asserted, blowing her white strip of hair the side of her face. "Never mahnd, Ah give up, we're all gonna get caught anyway!"

Kurt and Kitty's laughs subsided moments later and Kurt finally finished his cereal. He looked up and stared at all of the girls in turn. "Don't vorry, Logan's asleep, alright?"

They all breathed a sigh of relief. Thankfully, they were up too early for any of the rest of the members of the house to have been awake anyhow. Suddenly, however, the quietness of the morning was disturbed by a heavy sound of metal boots hitting the ground. The four teens panicked. They all looked to Jean in hopes that it was someone else heading their way, but a nod of her head confirmed what they feared. It was indeed Logan.

"I thought you said he was like, asleep," Kitty whispered, shutting down her laptop quickly.

"Vell, he vas," Kurt replied. "But, vat did you sink? He vas going to vake up eventually."

"Yeah, I knew that." Kitty rolled her eyes. "But, I'd hoped he wouldn't be up for like, another few hours. His bike's supposed to be done today."

"Oh, ok then," Kurt said, "I'll just go and ask: 'Hey Logan, you vouldn't mind if you vent back to sleep until ve can finish getting your bike fixed, vould you? Sanks.' Yes, zat vould be a pleasant conversation." Kurt gulped. "Maybe zen you'll know vat you're having for dinner… but please save your goodbyes until after I'm stewed."

Kitty was about to retort but Jean shushed them. "Look, let's not panic. He's heading here and not the garage, ok. Let's be thankful of that."

"Yeah, ve'll be sankful if ve live to tell ze tale," Kurt said, looking glum. "But I sink he values his bike's life above ours though."

"Shhhh!" Jean, Kitty, and Rogue said in unison.

"What was that about my bike, elf?" Logan asked, standing at the doorway to the kitchen and looking slightly amused.

Kurt's eyes widened and he seemed to shrink back in his chair. "Nosing," he muttered.

"You sure?" Logan asked. "Cause I coulda sworn I heard you sayin' something about my bike." Kurt shook his head.

"Eet's just too early, Logan," Kurt said. "Must've been your imagination."

Logan quirked an eyebrow at him and gave a half smile. "Yeah, it must've been." Kurt breathed in heavily and watched Logan make his way to the kitchen counter to pick up a piece of toast. He bit off the edge of it and glance up only to meet the anxious eyes of four teenagers. They immediately looked away when Logan caught them staring though. He narrowed his eyes doubtfully at them and continued to chew on his toast. The room was deafeningly silent - only the birds outside were heard chirping.

"So," Logan started conversationally, "how do goes that science project?"

Jean looked up immediately at him, her ears registering what Logan had just said, but Kitty just looked quizzically at him. "What science pro--?"

Rogue shoved a piece of toast into Kitty's mouth so that the rest of her question became muffled. Kitty turned to glare at Rogue, but she just shrugged at Kitty. Logan's eyebrows furrowed. Jean immediately tried to answer before he started asking anymore questions. "Uh, yeah, the science project," Jean responded quickly, smiling, "is going very well. Yup, couldn't be better." Logan just looked at her, his piercing stare bore into her as if trying to read her thoughts. Luckily, Jean had the upper hand on that one. "It should be done today actually. Mhmm, yeah, done today."

Logan raised his eyebrows once more - something he felt he had been doing a lot lately. He could've even sworn that for the past four days all he'd been smelling was brimstone and sulfur. Logan shook the thought from his mind. Maybe he had just been imagining things, but his instinct and acute sense of smell and sound told him otherwise. He finished his piece of toast but his eyes never left theirs as they continued looking at each other. It was very unsettling for the four pairs of eyes to have Logan's stare burned into them. He usually scared everyone, and ever since the accident they had all been more than a little paranoid.

Logan dusted himself of crumbs and stood up. "Well, I'm heading out to the garage… gotta get some things done today." They all immediately panicked, but Jean put her hands to the side of her head and Kurt teleported out of the kitchen quickly.

Kitty was the first at the kitchen door - having phased through the table and ran - blocking his exit. Logan hadn't had much time to notice Kurt's abrupt absence. "Y-you like, can't do that!"

"And why the hell not?" Logan asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked rather irritated.

"Well, b-because our science project is still in the garage," Kitty explained rather quickly, "and if you go in there now, you'll like, ruin the surprise."

Logan looked as though he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "I'll risk it," he said and pushed past her easily enough. Kitty ran ahead of him and after a few strides was standing in front of him again with Rogue now beside her. Logan sighed.

"But, ya haven't even eaten anythin', Logan," Rogue stalled.

"I ate a piece of toast," Logan said through gritted teeth. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be late for my errands."

"But, a piece of toast isn't like, good enough," Kitty explained. "A buff guy like you needs a more nutritious breakfast."

"Is that so?" Logan asked, folding his arms again. Both girls nodded at him a little too enthusiastically. "Well then, I'll keep that in mind the next time I sit down to chat with my health care provider." He laughed gruffly. The entire household knew that Logan didn't need a health care professional. He was practically immortal with his gift of healing. "Now, excuse me, ladies… but I've got more important things to do today."

Logan slid past them easily again. Kitty and Rogue were about to follow him but Jean came up from behind them and held them back. "It's ok. Scott's been informed." Jean tapped the side of her temple. "He and Kurt have just hidden the parts and covered the bike." Kitty and Rogue sighed in relief.

In a few hours their troubles would be over. Logan would have his motorcycle back and all would be well… or so they hoped.

"Ya think he'll wonder where his bahke went?" Rogue asked, scrunching up her face and imagining the scenario if something of the sort occurred. "It wasn't even in the garage when Kurt had grabbed it, but…."

"Hopefully not," Jean said. "We're lucky to have lasted this long anyway."

"Like, why do you say that?" Kitty questioned, her head bowed to the side.

"Because just imagine what would've happened if Logan had had the sudden urge to ride his bike in the past few days," Jean explained. She ran a swift finger across her neck for emphasis. The three girls all looked horrified.

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"And he just left?" Jean asked a busy Scott once they were all in the garage again. "Just like that? No questions?"

"No questions," Scott answered as he tried to finish painting the almost finished motorcycle in front of him. "Though he did look pretty suspicious when he walked in here and saw Kurt and I just standing near a piece of cloth."

"Ja! All he did vas ask us vat ve vere doing," Kurt said. "Ve told him zat ve still didn't vant him to see ze project…. I still sink he's suspicious."

"Like, why wouldn't he be," Kitty added grimly. "It's Logan, after all."

"Ja, eet's Logan," Kurt mimicked, receiving a glare from Kitty. He ignored her and continued, "and ze only reason ve're scared of him is because he might kill us if he finds out."

"Well Ah'm glad ya figured that one out bah yo' self," Rogue said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "It would've been much easier if Logan had just done ya in already. Maybe then ya'd know fer sure."

Kurt didn't respond, he just continued working and helping Scott put the last touches on the motorcycle as though he had never heard Rogue. The five of them had left the garage door open so they could be on the lookout should Logan come back. He had been gone for a few hours now and the five teens hoped that he'd be gone for another few.

Kitty walked around the garage and looked out into the clear blue sky that surrounded them. From the distance she thought she could make something out and she peered on tip toe to be able to see what it was. Kitty's eyes practically bulged out of their sockets and she immediately started to panic.

"Um, guys?" Kitty turned toward them. They all looked at her. "Is Logan's motorcycle ride able yet?"

"No," Scott replied.

"Then like, why is he doing it right now?" Kitty pointed out into the distance as Logan's figure got closer and closer.

"Kitty, what are you talking about?" Scott asked, coming up to stand next to her. "How could he be riding his motorcycle when it's still right -" The sentence died on his lips as he saw what Kitty was talking about. "- here. Oh my God!"

"How did--"

"What tha--"

"Vhy vould--"

"Like, what are we gonna do?" Kitty cried.

There was no response. All they were doing now was gaping at each other and spluttering, completely at a loss for words. Scott immediately covered up the newly finished motorcycle and was about to say something when they heard the engine to Logan's apparently new motorcycle roar up the drive and stop right in front of them. He peeled off his helmet and smiled wolfishly at the five teens. No one spoke, the shock still not wearing off, but when Logan parked the motorcycle, Scott was the first to recover.

"New bike, Logan?" Scott asked casually.

"No, actually, Cyke," Logan answered swiftly. "I just got my baby back from the mechanic."

"The mechanic?" Jean asked, her voice coming back to her.

"Yeah." Logan stepped off of the motorcycle and eyed each of them. "Woulda fixed it myself, but I didn't have the parts it needed. Now I can finally get rid o' that other useless piece of junk."

"You mean the other like, motorcycle?" Kitty bit her lip.

"Yeah," Logan replied slowly, "but, how'd you know about that? It wasn't even in the garage."

"Kurt _accidentally_ came upon it," Rogue explained. "In that raght, Kurt?"

"Vat? Oh yeah, accidental," Kurt responded blindly, still shocked. "But zey look exactly alike." He was still eyeing the motorcycle Logan had just ridden, disbelief painting his features.

"Yeah, they're twin bikes, actually," Logan stated. "The mechanic handed it over thinkin' I'd want it fer my collection or somethin'. Really worthless though." Logan patted his actual motorcycle. "It doesn't really run anymore."

"It doesn't?" Kitty asked helplessly, pointedly staring at Kurt as if it were all his fault. He immediately looked away. As Logan stood there staring at them, they all felt like absolute fools. How come they hadn't noticed before? It would have saved them so much trouble. But then, they did look exactly alike, they would have never guessed. Three days of trying to hide the damage to a bike that Logan didn't even care about.

The silence hung in the air, the only sounds being made were the ones of Logan putting his motorcycle in the garage. The five teens just stood there staring at each other.

"Ah can't believe it," Rogue whispered.

"I know." Kitty nodded.

"Eet vas all for nosing." Kurt rubbed his face wearily.

"Waste of my time," Scott muttered.

"Should've known," Jean mumbled.

They all looked at each other again and shook their heads. The five teens were about to head back to the mansion when Logan came back and stood in front of them. Even though they all doubted that they would get in trouble, it was still very uncomfortable to stay under his scrutiny.

"So I see you're still workin' hard, huh?" Logan eyed them all slowly. They all nodded quickly and over enthusiastically. The five of them had no idea what Logan was talking about though and they hoped it wouldn't show.

"Yup, working hard," Scott said. "You know how we are."

"I sure do." Logan smirked. "Nothin' betteran teamwork, eh." He paced in front of them slowly like a commander in the army eyeing his soldiers. "So, now… where's that surprise science project that I've been dyin' ta see?"

The five teens visibly gulped.

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